offoffBway.com

From NYMag.com:

“A while back I tried to buy the rights because I wanted to do Baywatch the musical. It would have been fantastic! But they’re idiots… they’re all idiots. Corporate people only think of dollars and cents.” —David Hasselhoff on the future of Baywatch [AOL]

Riiiight Dave. Because a musical version of ‘Baywatch’ would have been, what, all about the art?

I want to rights to make a musical out of this.

C’mon Dave. Why not? Don’t you care about anything besides money?

Here’s the progression of forming an opinion without actually seeing a show:

When you hear the title of the new musical “White Widow: a sicilian musical passion”, you might think it sounds silly. After that, you might think that poking fun at said musical may not be a great idea, since it sounds like something Christopher Moltisanti might be producing, and insulting it could lead to a date with the East River and a pair of cement galoshes. But then you look at the press release and realize that it’s based on a play called “Mafia” by Italian playwright Mario Fratti, who also adapted the book for the Broadway musical “Nine.”

Does this mean the show will be good? (more…)

The Tony Awards nominations have been announced and we think we should be pleased. Why? A couple of “smaller” shows (read: transferred from off-Broadway and/or have no stars in them) received a lot of attention, such as “In The Heights” and “Passing Strange.” Mel Brooks’ “Young Frankenstein” – or rather, “Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein” as it is officially known – received only 3 nominations, and none in the Best Musical category.

Are you asleep yet?

In case you haven’t guessed, we sort of don’t care much about this. But why not? Small is better, small is the new big, blah blah blah. The truth is, you don’t get to Broadway without a crapload of cash behind you. It’s a little bit like being so excited about Barack Obama’s “outsider” status. Do you really believe that someone can run for President without tons of money and connections? How “outside” could he possibly be?

When “Urinetown” was nominated and won lots of awards, that was a little different. This was a couple of guys who toiled on tiny stages for years, had no intention of making a run at Broadway, and got there anyway. I’m not knocking “Passing Strange”, which has a little bit of that pedigree. “In The Heights” seems like just more of the same. Regardless, it’s all Broadway, it’s $100+ for a ticket, so screw ’em.

Exxon. Record profits. Fuckwads.

You know what, NYU? Stop knocking down buildings. What possible reason would you have for re-doing the Provicetown Playhouse in the Village? It’s a historical site. Leave it the hell alone.

There’s a joke to be made here but I don’t know what it is yet. Well, I do. But it’s mean. It has to do with Mandy’s bizarre past behavior. Anyway, he’s doing the Shakespeare play at CSC. (source: BroadwayWorld)

If you’ve ever wondered about doing commercials and how much bank you can make, Show Business Weekly has some answers for you. One guy has done over 2800 commercials. That’s a lot of pretending you like some stupid product.

Off Broadway Belasco Ken Davenport has been named one of “40 under 40” by Crain’s NY Business. It’s nice to see someone from theater, much less off-Broadway theater, be included in a grouping like this. Congrats, dude!

(Image from here)
At least give the producer points for honesty:

The new musical, which began previews July 5, has closed. A press statement issued Aug. 13 reads, “Todd Ellis, the producer of Idol: The Musical, has chosen to close the show due to a lack of advance ticket sales, a lack of positive feedback from audience members and critics, and a lack of sustainable financial resources.”

Translation: NOBODY CARED, SO WE DECIDED TO STOP TORTURING OURSELVES AND THE CAST.

Source: Playbill.com

This has to be a first – the show My First Time, where people tell stories about making the beast with two backs (and other positions, we imagine) for the, yes, first time, gave away tickets to virgins on opening night. Thinking of going and downplaying your sexual prowess in order to get a freebie? Well, they’ve got that covered with a psychic.

Here’s a tip to get in: we bet if you show up in a Darth Vader costume, they’ll believe that you’re still a virgin. (THANK YOU! TRY THE VEAL! TIP YOUR WAITRESS!)

This sounds very sketchy to us, but all in fun just the same. And probably the first time this has happened (not even David Merrick would have done this… OK, maybe he would have).

The cast and producer/creator Ken Davenport also rang the closing bell at Nasdaq the other day. Clearly this show is the most important thing in town. Anyone seen it? Any virgins get denied entry? Any non-virgins slip past the sniffer? Email us and let us know.

My First Time