offoffBway.com

From NYMag.com:

“A while back I tried to buy the rights because I wanted to do Baywatch the musical. It would have been fantastic! But they’re idiots… they’re all idiots. Corporate people only think of dollars and cents.” —David Hasselhoff on the future of Baywatch [AOL]

Riiiight Dave. Because a musical version of ‘Baywatch’ would have been, what, all about the art?

I want to rights to make a musical out of this.

C’mon Dave. Why not? Don’t you care about anything besides money?

From The Onion, a new way to make fun of the Tonys. Hee hee.
High School Tony Awards Honor Nation’s Biggest Drama Club Nerds

Gawker has it wrong — theater has been dying a slow death for years. The Legally Bland reality show is not even one of the horsemen of the theatrical apocalypse.

Two quick thoughts:
– Ellen Degeneres should’ve said “This is ironic that I’m the host, because my drag name is Oscar Brunch.”
– When they started playing music to get her off the stage, Jennifer Hudson should have said “I AM TELLING YOU I’M NOT GOING!”
(more…)

Liev Schreiber says, “I come off as psychotic . . . I’m misrepresented as a scary person. I’m not. It’s all about my size and my eyebrows.” Dude, if you have to tell us that… He also mentions that he made the beast with two backs on the Staten Island Ferry. Hey, whatever floats your boat (rim shot). At least he’s a movie star who does lots of theater. Even if he’s not psychotic.

I’M NOT SCARY – New York Post Online Edition: Seven

A second opinion on Constantine Maroulis, the American Idol castoff who has now KILLED OUR FAVORITE BROADWAY MUSICAL! (We’re only kidding, dude, we don’t blame you. Show just ain’t selling tickets. Whatcha gonna do? Simon Cowell, that’s whose fault it is!)

judgejru.com // judge jru’s American Idol blog: judge jru hearts Angela Ashman

Again, this should be the title of a FringeFest show. Basically, the woman was cast in a touring production of Movin’ Out, the musical based on Billy Joel songs. Then her breasts got too big and they fired her. Considering the fact that Twyla Tharp “fired…the show’s assistant director and choreographer after Tharp learned the news” that his wife (also in the show) was pregnant (source), it seems pretty believable that excessive cleavage might’ve been the reason for this dancer’s firing. Not that we know. Just a guess. More pictures by following the link below.

Alice Alyse Broadway Dancer Fired for Enormous Breasts (Video, Photos) » Outside The Beltway | OTB

Wasn’t that the title of a play? If not, shouldn’t it be?

A regular Einstein in the ways of love

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Ideas & Opinions

Einstein’s Dreams

This isn’t really off-off, but it is a review of The Wedding Singer from a New Jersey magazine, which we just thought was kinda funny.

Review: `The Wedding Singer’ (PrincetonInfo.com)

The Wedding Singer (2006 Original Broadway Cast)

The Wedding Singer: Music From The Motion Picture

The Wedding Singer Volume 2: More Music From The Motion Picture

…maybe Axl wouldn’t have sunk his teeth into a security guard.

Axl Rose to pay guard he allegedly bit

“Catarina Oscarsson, a spokeswoman for concert organizer Ema Telstar, said the band wasn’t traveling with a publicist and would not comment on the arrest.”

Usually the publicist is to blame, so this time it’s nice to see them get credit. Sort of.

Axl Rose to pay guard he allegedly bit – Yahoo! News